Let me be clear, I am not writing from a place of recovery but from a place of recovering. I am on the same journey you are on. A journey of healing and restoration, a journey of discovering who I am in Christ. A journey of recognizing, accepting and living out my purpose - my calling. I started blogging just over a month and a half ago. For many years I felt called to write but I struggled with my calling. What did I have to say? Who would listen and why would God want to use me? Those questions plagued my mind. I knew the real me, the person who would lay awake at night with tears streaming down her face because the echo of hurtful words would spring off the walls of her heart and bounce around in her mind. I had very little confidence that God could use me to accomplish much. The problem was not my confidence in God but confidence in myself, it was almost nonexistent. You see, I grew up hearing words that destroyed my self worth and my sense of value. Words that I internalized and allowed to become a part of me. These were words that birthed fear and insecurity in my heart and mind. Many of you know the words of which I speak. Spoken by parents, friends, spouses or foes; casually or with destructive purpose; they came like shrapnel, implanting in our very soul. And just like shrapnel, those words produced internal wounds that we then learn to live with even though they remained embedded in us. We dress up and mask our wounds, going about every day as if all is well, but inside we are still bleeding out. We limp around appearing to live a fairly normal life but never truly living out our fullest potential. Joyce Meyer says "we are experts at building walls and stuffing things into dark corners..." In deed we are. Instead, we need to open up to God and allow Him access to our wounds so He can heal us and set us free. Psalm 147:3 tells us "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." In the process of healing we need to forgive. We forgive those who have caused us hurt and we forgive our self for holding onto the negative emotional response, that in the end, only served to keep our wounds open. As we embrace God's love and His truth about us, it leads us to realise our true worth and value. ***You are fearfully and wonderfully made.....Psalm 139:14 ***You are loved and have worth.....Romans 5:6-7 ***In Christ you have redemption.....Ephesians 1:7 ***You are children of God.....John 1:12 ***You are free...John 8:36 ***You are secure..no one will snatch you out of His hand.....John 8:28-29 ***You are favoured.....Proverbs 8:35 ***You are accepted and reconciled to God....Colossians 1:21-22 ***Your mind is transformed and renewed....Romans 12:2 ***You are significant....Philippians 4:13 The word of God brings hope, renewal and restoration. Proverbs 4: 20-22 tells us to attend to His word and incline our ears to His sayings. It encourages us to follow, pay attention and listen so that His words can penetrate deep into our hearts bringing life and healing. We need to surrender fully to God, trusting Him to help us grow and develop. Only then are we able to move forward in confidence towards His purpose and calling for us. God's plans for your life are greater than you can imagine. Take comfort in the knowledge that He loves you and be patient while He heals you. I encourage you to take a step of faith and be an active participant in your healing. Though not always easy, it is a fascinating journey as you learn to view yourself through His eyes. I truly believe there is a purpose in our pain. We become stronger, wiser and according to Rick Warren, "our most effective ministry will come out of our deepest hurts." My blogging not only serves as a platform to encourage and inspire others but also a platform for my continued healing.
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